Single Parents 10 Ways To Create A Life Long Relationship With Your Kid, It’s Easy!

I know as a single parent, the days seem to be never ending with so much needing to be done. In the mean time your child is growing up, time is slipping away, here are 10 ways to create lasting memories and develop the relationship with your child.

1. Go to the Library. You can get books, movies and music from the library, there is lots of ideas to be found there.

2. ChildHood Memories. Introduce your child to the things you liked when you were growing up.

3. To Do List. Make a list of the things you want your child to do/be/have before he or she grows up.

4. Ask Your Child add to the above list things your child wants to.

5. Check the Newspaper. I found the weekend guide to be a great resource for free or low cost things to do.

6. Ask Other Parents. Ask them what they do. You could invite your child’s friends and family to an outing or over for an evening of fun at home.

7. Family Volunteer Opportunities. There are so many groups and organizations that would love you and your child to come help out. Check out what is available in your area and try a few. Repeat the one or ones that appeals to you both.

8. Volunteer For A School Field Trip or Party. Check your schedule and plan to take some time to be with your child during the school day. The school is always looking for parent volunteers, so ask what is needed and do what fits for you.

9. Go To Church/Temple/SynagogueCheck a few out until you find a fit. There are many resources available at these places of worship.

10. Special Groups.Look for groups gathering or organizations of people who like to do what you like to do. Lots of hobbyists meet to spend time with other people who like the same things. What a great way to meet new people.

Source: Laura C. Ries (ArticleDashboard.com)

Read more

Ten Ways For A Better Balanced Single Parent Life

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by all the things you have on your to-do list? With all that Parenting entails, career, family, social service, self, and doing it alone as a single parent, the tasks can get out of control. Seems like the more I do, the more there is left on the to-do list. Finding balance can be a challenge. Below are ways to take the pressures of life and get them into order and under control.

1. Circle of Life – A great way to see where your life may be out of balance is to create a Circle of life chart. Draw a circle and dissect it like a pie. At each spoke write down a different aspect of your life. My circle has work, family, self, social service, finance, and health. Then rate each item from one to 10. 1 is the least amount of balance of that aspect and 10 the most. Put a dot on the circle where you have rated each aspect. Connect the dots. Is your circle fairly round? Or are there places where it is flat? Those are the areas to focus on.

2.Kick off Questions - Ask yourself the following questions. The answers will help you schedule your time and round out the balance of your life. What has been working in your life? What hasn’t? Why? What do you plan to do? What relationships make you doubt yourself or are crazy making? Which relationships encourage you to be your best? What are you going to focus on in the next day, next week, 3 months?

3.Morning Journal - Every morning when I get up I take three pieces of paper and write. Whatever comes to mind, I write it down. I’ve found out some interesting things about myself. If I write something I want to keep, I’ll circle it and keep writing. When I’m done with the three pages, I’ll transfer the items I’ve circled on to my to-do list.

4.Talk to someone who’s already been there done that. Talking to someone who has been through what you are going through, helps one’s perspective. For example, toilet training battles and the car key issues seem more manageable when you have someone who can tell you, “They are all potty trained by the time they are 18 and letting the kids drive gives you something to take away when needed.”

5.Activity of your own - I know you think your list of things to do is too long. However, when you spend some time doing what you like, you get re-energized to tackle the other things that might not be as much fun. I told each of my children that they could have an activity. I told them I would have one too. In our family that meant there were 4 activities to schedule. I set the expectation that sometimes the activities may conflict and a decision would need to be made about which one would be done. This actually didn’t happen often and when it did, the kids helped find solutions to the conflict.

6.100 things to do – Make a list of 100 things you want to do. Don’t edit the list, it is important to write down what you want so you can start to focus on making it happen. You may need to find some creative ways to do them and that will be part of the fun. Ask your kids what they’d like to do. And let them help with the planning.

7.Big things first – Now begin to block off your calendar. Put the big items first, that way they will be sure to get done. If you and your family will be taking some time off this year for a vacation, decide when and where you want to go. Now you can be sure to ask for the time off, and set aside the money needed in plenty of time. Fill in when the activities are scheduled. Then fill in other items.

8.Body, mind and soul – As you are making your lists and creating your calendar, make sure to include things to improve your body, mind and soul. These items can be done on your own, with your children, or with friends.

9.Decide to – One of the most important things involved with balancing your life it to make the decision. If you look at your life and say, “I can’t”. You’ll be right. If you decide you want to make some changes, you will be more likely to do so.

10.Create a new life – It has been said that it takes from 30-90 days to create a new habit. That is 1-3 months time. Wow, if you are feeling out of balance today, you can use some of these steps to have a better balance. In 3 months time, stop and take a look at the changes you have made and the effect they have had on your life.


Source: Laura c. Ries (ArticleDashboard.com)

Read more

How to Save Money as a Single Parent

Dealing with money as a single parent can be very stressful. One income and one parent has to run a household and pay for the costs of supporting a family. Learning how to take advantage of money saving strategies will help stretch your finances farther for your family.

Instructions:

Step 1. Set priorities. As a single parent you will need to make limited funds go as far a possible. Make sure you first focus on what your family needs. When you are able to financially cover basic needs such as food, shelter, child care and education, then you can look into providing your family with what is wants such karate classes, name brand items or a weekend outing.

Step 2. Shopping at thrift stores for furniture, appliances, and clothing whenever possible is a great way to save money as a single parent. Be on the look out for thrift store sales as well to make your money go even farther.

Step 3. Walk or use public transportation whenever possible. If you are lucky enough to live somewhere with great public transportation then you can eliminate the cost of gas, insurance, and car maintenance. If public transportation is not an option for you then try to combine trips when you run errands or walk any place that is within a reasonable distance.

Step 4. Get hair cuts at beauty schools. Instructors will be there to supervise and correct errors if necessary and you will save a big chunk of money.

Step 5. Entertain your kids using free public resources. Visit the library for story hours, rent movies or search for good books to read in the following weeks. Go to local parks to use the playground or hike on trails.

Step 6. Buy in bulk and buy generic for groceries whenever possible. Freeze perishable items that you won't use right away and stock up on non-perishable items when they are on sale.

Step 7. Eat out only as an occasional treat. Make preparing meals a family activity. Put on some music and talk about your days as you all prepare the meal together. Let your children help find recipes that they would like to try out.

Step 8. Keep a coin bank. Any time anyone has extra change in their purse or pocket dump it in the change bank. See how much money accumulates over the course of a year and use that for a special outing or item for the family.


Source: eHow Personal Finance Editor (eHow)

Read more

How to Be a Confident Single Mom

Being a single mom can be a challenging and rewarding experience, but remember all parents come in different shapes and sizes. It is more important that you be confident in your role as a parent and remember that you are doing the most important job in the world, raising kids. Read on to learn how to be a confident single mom.

Instructions

Step 1. Believe that you can be a confident and successful single parent, whether you made the choice yourself or it was out of your control. This believe in yourself will be a guiding light when issues arise.

Step 2. Define your family as you and your children. A family does not need a specific number of adults or to meet any other standard. Be sure to explain this to your children and to anyone who questions you.

Step 3. Ignore negative stereotypes about single parent households and kids raised in single family homes. You will shape your child, their beliefs and their behavior, not the fact that you are a single mom.

Step 4. Ask trusted friends and family to help, especially when they can contribute their own knowledge and skills. A married couple would ask friends to help put together a swing set and a single mom should do the same.

Step 5. Budget wisely for your children, yourself and your future. Although it may be hard to say "no" to a small thing here and there, it will be much more difficult to say "no" to college later on.

Step 6. Search out support from other single parents. This is a great support system for times of stress, as well as for times when you want to share your accomplishments.


Source: eHow Parenting Editor

Read more

Single parents: How to avoid taking your anger out on your kids

Frustration can abound when you are single parent. There is no one else there to pass the children off to when they'd become difficult or annoying. And every parent knows that children become annoying at times. When you are at the end of your rope as a single parent it to be hard not to take your anger out on your children. However, to keep your household moving forward smoothly, you must learn how to avoid doing this. The following article to give you tips and tricks that will help the single parent keep their cool even when their child does not.

Single Parent Anger Management - Take a Break

Perhaps the best way to deal with anger management as a single parent involves taking a break when emotions are running high. Of course, you cannot pass the child off to another parent to deal with at the time, but you can still give both you and your child breathing room.

Before yelling or speaking out of anger, take a moment to count to ten, leave the room and do some deep breathing, or do some other calming activity. It is good to tell your child that you are too angry to deal with them at the moment and you will discuss the issue later.

Single Parent Anger Management - Give a Hug

When anger overwhelms you, it is hard to focus on the positive. When you feel angry beyone words, remember the mantra, "I still love you." No matter how furious you might be at whatever your child did wrong, give them a hug before talking about it. A hug will difuse the situation and remind them that they are loved no matter what. This may be difficult with older children or teens who resist hugs. Looking them in the eye and telling them you love them no matter what is effective as well.

Single Parent Anger Management - Get Help

While a single parent may not have immediate help to deal with a child who is misbehaving in some way, they can still get assistance with how to avoid taking their anger out on the child. Parenting classes, therapy, anger management counseling can all help. Sometimes, just calling a friend or relative can dampen the anger welling up inside.

Taking your anger out on your child is never acceptable, but it is very understandable. Single parents, who do not have the luxury of sharing the emotional load of difficult parenting times, must find other avenues to diffuse situations before they explode into outright fury.

Source: MelanieM (Bukisa)

Read more

Positive Effects of Single Parenting
Concepts Every Single Parent Needs to Keep in Mind

You might not often think of being a single parent family as a bonus for your kids. There have been many sacrifices along the way, and plenty of times when you wished things were different. However, there are some positive effects of single parenting that you should bear in mind as you raise your children:

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #1: Developing Strong Bonds

Spending quality one-on-one time with your kids allows you to develop a unique bond that may actually be stronger than it would have been if you were not a single parent. Certainly this is true for many custodial parents, but it's also true for a number of non-custodial parents who have the opportunity to play a unique role in their kids' lives.

• Never diminish the importance of your role.
• Realize if your bond isn't where you want it to be today, you can work to strengthen it.
• Your connection with your children won't end when they turn 18; the bond will continue to evolve into your children's adult years.

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #2: Experiencing Community

We're all familiar with the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child." Well, children raised in single parent families are often raised by a village of supporters. In many cases, members of the extended family will step up and play a significant role in the children's lives. Those single parents who don't live near family may choose to participate in community groups - including single parent support groups, churches, and synagogues - which champion the entire family.

• Join a single parent support group
• Seek out civic groups that will help you plug in to your local community.
• Get involved in your child's school.

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #3: Shared Responsibilities

Children raised in single parent families don't just have "token" chores to do in order to earn an allowance. Instead, their contribution to the entire family system is necessary. The authentic need for their assistance helps the children recognize the value of their contribution and develop pride in their own work.

• Praise your kids for helping out around the home.
• Let them know you recognize their efforts.
• Expect them to contribute and be specific when asking them to help out.

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #4: Handling Conflict and Disappointment

Children in single parent families witness conflict mediation skills in action. They get to see their parents working hard - despite their differences - to collaborate and work together effectively. In addition, the children are forced to deal with their own disappointments early in life.

• Respond with your kids' disappointment with support, encouragement, and empathy.
• View these experiences as valuable growth opportunities, helping them become sensitive, empathetic, caring adults.
• You can't always prevent your children from feeling sad or disappointed, but you can help them to express and cope with their emotions

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #5: Seeing Real-Life, Balanced Priorities

Children who are raised in successful single parent families know that they are the main priority in their parents' lives, yet they are not treated as though they are the center of everyone's universe. This healthy approach helps to prepare kids for the "real world."

• Help your children balance their own needs/wants with the needs of the entire family unit.
• Realize that it's okay for you as the parent to pursue needs of your own, such as the need for alone time or adult conversation.
• Teach your kids to express their needs while also considering the needs of others.

Source : Jennifer Wolf (About.com)

Read more

5 Single-Parenting Mistakes -- and How to Fix Them

Here are the five most common single-parent missteps and how to resolve them


Mistake No. 1: Trying to compensate for absent parent

The fix: Quit trying! "Single parents often feel guilty that there isn't another parent in the house," says Barry G. Ginsberg, Ph.D., director of The Center of Relationship Enhancement in Doylestown, Pa., and author of 50 Wonderful Ways to Be a Single-Parent Family (New Harbinger, 2003). "It's natural to feel guilty, but you don't have to compensate or take action because of the guilt."

When parents feel guilty, they try to compensate by overdoing it — showering children with toys and gadgets, meting out punishment less often or providing less structure. All of which is a disservice to the child — and to you. "When you feel guilty, you under-parent your kids by giving in to them more often than you should," says James H. Bray, Ph.D., a professor at Baylor College of Medicine and director of Baylor Family Counseling Clinic in Houston. "The vast majority [of children in single-parent households] do just as well academically and socially as children with two parents at home."

Mistake No. 2: Not having a life of your own

The fix: "It's very important that you get your adult needs met," Bray says. "If you don't, you'll be a less effective parent." You need to make time for hobbies, dating, friends and exercise. Otherwise, you may feel frustrated and resentful — emotions that can sap your energy, mentally and physically. To find that elusive time, Bray suggests that you:

> Ask family members, friends and neighbors to spend time with your child

> Form a "babysitting share" with three to four other families. On a Friday night, for example, one family can host all the kids at their home for pizza and movies, while the next Friday, it's another parent's turn, etc. The upshot: You get three to four free nights a month!

> Find a mentoring program. The Big Brothers Big Sisters program is one option, though in many big cities there are long waiting lists for mentors. (Go to www.bbbs.org to find an agency in your area.) So also check out churches or synagogues, many of which offer mentoring programs as well as sports, crafts and other activities for children.

Mistake No. 3: Overscheduling your kids

The fix: Resist the urge. Time management is a lot harder when there's just one of you. Planning soccer, piano, playdates and birthday parties so that they mesh with your work and family schedule is daunting.

"Overscheduling puts pressure on everybody," Bray says. When your child is around age 6 or 7, talk to him about prioritizing. This means explaining to your child the reality of resources (namely money and time) and that, as a family, you have to make choices. For example, tell your child that she can do karate or basketball, and ask her to choose. This will teach her about making responsible choices and give you some valuable family time together.

Mistake No. 4: Using your child as agent with other parent

The fix: Keep them out of your personal problems. Sharing custody can be prickly, especially if the breakup was contentious. Sometimes, Mom and Dad are at such odds that they use the child to make statements to one another. Big mistake. "Do not have your children act in coalition with you," Ginsberg advises. "They may have enough trouble [from the breakup] already, and it's not fair to burden them. Parents need to work out a plan.

" Although you and your co-parent may have different values (there's a reason you broke up, right?), you must find a way to work together for the sake of your child. If necessary, seek help from a third party such as a mediator or counselor. "Chances are you won't be as angry and hurt, and you'll be able to build a working relationship with the other parent," Ginsberg says. For instance, if getting homework done at Dad's house seems to be a mission impossible, get the school involved. Dad will likely be more open to the recommendations of your child's teacher or principal than he is to yours.

Mistake No. 5: Involving kids in too many adult relationships

The fix: Delay introductions. If you go through a series of romantic relationships and introduce your child to each partner, it's going to be difficult on the kid. "Wait until you know there's a possibility of a long-term relationship" before making the introduction, Bray cautions. "If you involve them in too many adult relationships, they will go through multiple losses.

" Also remember that you are your child's model for adult conduct. If you have one-night stands or go through a series of partners in a short time, and your child knows all of this is happening, you're essentially telling him it's acceptable. "Whatever you do in front of your children, gives them the message that this is proper behavior," Bray says.

Source: Revolution Health Group

Read more

How to Handle Stress As a Single Parent

Being a parent is very, very stressful. When you top that with work, family and chores around the house - after a while you feel as if you could just crawl into bed and never get up. Being a single parent is even more stressful. Often times, it feels as if there is no one else in the whole world that can help alleviate some of your load or help you to avoid so much stress. This article discusses some of the ways that you can handle stress as a single parent and get through the tougher times.

ME Time

Everyone, especially single parents, need me time. This is very important for keeping your stress level low and keeping you happy. However, most single parents feel as if there isn't one single minute during the day that they can steal just for themselves. The key is to make some. If you don't do it, you will keep devoting 24 hours a day to everyone else and none to you. Hire a sitter to take the kids for a few hours each week and go see a movie. Leave the kids at a family member's house on a weekend night and enjoy the time you need. Whether you go out and remember what it's like to be a person and not just a parent or you lie on the couch and watch movies - it's still YOUR time.

Laugh

There are probably few times during your day when you feel like laughing. However, laughing is just plain out good for you. Laugh with your kids, watch some comedy - do something to make yourself laugh. It's amazing how much stress you shed when you're giggling to the point that you're crying! If you can't find something to make yourself laugh - make your kids laugh. Make funny faces at them or tickle them until they laugh. Soon, you'll end up rolling in your own laughter as well!

Calming Techniques

Stress is very bad for your heart, your body and can actually make you physically sick. Try a few calming techniques next time you find yourself wound to the point of snapping. For instance, close your eyes and breathe very slowly and deeply. Count to ten in your mind and see the numbers in your mind's eye. By the time you get to 10, you will have evened your breathing and begun to calm down. Another thing you can do is imagine something that is comforting to you - whether it's a hammock in the yard or a crackling fireplace. Imagine it until you see it clearly, smell the smells, hear the sounds and more - you will calm yourself down so that you can move on.

Stress is terrible - it is definitely a silent killer and it's important to find something which reduces the stress in our lives. Each time you feel yourself becoming stressed, try one of the techniques in this article to calm yourself down until you are able to continue without the stress. Good luck.

Source : Danielle L. Taylor (EzineArticles)

Read more