How to Be a Confident Single Mom

Being a single mom can be a challenging and rewarding experience, but remember all parents come in different shapes and sizes. It is more important that you be confident in your role as a parent and remember that you are doing the most important job in the world, raising kids. Read on to learn how to be a confident single mom.

Instructions

Step 1. Believe that you can be a confident and successful single parent, whether you made the choice yourself or it was out of your control. This believe in yourself will be a guiding light when issues arise.

Step 2. Define your family as you and your children. A family does not need a specific number of adults or to meet any other standard. Be sure to explain this to your children and to anyone who questions you.

Step 3. Ignore negative stereotypes about single parent households and kids raised in single family homes. You will shape your child, their beliefs and their behavior, not the fact that you are a single mom.

Step 4. Ask trusted friends and family to help, especially when they can contribute their own knowledge and skills. A married couple would ask friends to help put together a swing set and a single mom should do the same.

Step 5. Budget wisely for your children, yourself and your future. Although it may be hard to say "no" to a small thing here and there, it will be much more difficult to say "no" to college later on.

Step 6. Search out support from other single parents. This is a great support system for times of stress, as well as for times when you want to share your accomplishments.


Source: eHow Parenting Editor

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How to Take Care of Yourself as a Single Parent

If you have children, you're blessed; if you're a single parent, you’re blessed and busy. Raising children is a joy; being a single parent is challenging. Taking care of yourself, running a household, earning the money, paying the rent, cleaning the house, running the errands, washing the clothes, cooking the meals, squeezing in a social life, attending school functions, doing homework, remembering to get the oil change, paying the dentist bill is hard. Balancing the checkbook is impossible. It’s difficult and you’re doing it. You’re exhausted. You want to take care of yourself, but where do you begin?


Step1
Give Yourself a Mini Break. Put aside the “To Do” list for a day. Nothing terrible will happen if you say, “not today” to your list. If you’re a single parent, you’re exhausted and can benefit from a break, but figuring out how to take one isn’t as easy as it sounds. Perhaps you might start by eliminating one tiny item from your “To Do” List. Ask yourself, “Do I really have to clean the bathrooms tonight? Can I skip scrubbing the floor? Isn’t it okay to let the kids skip a bath tonight?” A mini break from the hectic routine is a good start in taking good care of yourself.

Step2
Ask for Help. This is often tough for women to do, but there are times when it’s healthy for us to allow others to pitch in and care for us. Our lives are so much about serving others, being busy, useful, caring and nurturing, that we forget to balance our own lives. When we are tired, sad, overwhelmed or sick it’s OK for us to allow others to help out. It’s OK to reach out and ask for what we need. I know it’s scary, but letting others help out, gives them a chance to give too.

Step3
Say “No.” You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty. Single mothers are so accustomed to saying “yes” that we’re afraid of what others will think if we don’t do what they ask. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and set limits. Even though you might be afraid of disappointing others, if we don’t stand up for ourselves we end up feeling resentful and that is not healthy for ourselves or our children.

Step4
Replenish Yourself Too. Single moms give and give and give. We put our children first and this is natural, but it is not healthy to give until we feel drained, deprived and worn out. Overgiving is often laced with resentment and anger. It’s being a martyr and sends the unspoken message of: “after all I do for you.” This is not healthy for families. For us to give freely we need to fill ourselves up first. Then love is overflowing onto our children. Our energy comes from taking care of ourselves. Ask yourself: "What replenishes me so that I have energy?" "What small step can I take to refuel myself?"

Step5
Eliminate Should, Have to and Can't. When we talk to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds, we are often mean and negative. We carry around a harsh inner voice that discourages and scolds us. Such messages add to our sense of aloneness and stress. If we can erase the words should, have to and can't, we empower ourself by giving ourselves more choices. We don't have to, but we may choose to. We have the power to decide for ourselves.

Source : Judy Ford (eHow)

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