Single Parenting

myths and facts and truths about single parenting and single parent families.

Single parents and their children often have to face stigma, violence and social problems based on myths, stereotypes, half-truths and prejudices. Sometimes, the taunts can be subtle and leave subconscious effects. The best approach is to confront them and understand what is true and what is not. Some of the myths have been cross-examined

Myth: Since culturally, traditional nuclear families are the norm and predominant, single parenting is an aberration and single parents are often left lonely and isolated.
Fact: Recently, single parent families have shown a sharp rise. In U.S. alone, about 59 percent of American children have lived in a single-parent home at least once during their minor years and over 16 million children currently live in single-parent homes. They are often ‘bi-nuclear’ families, where despite divorces and re-marriages, both the parents are actively involved in parenting and offer their children two separate homes

Myth: Children from single-parent families have emotional and behavior problems and do poorly in school.
Fact: These conclusions are completely false and untainted researches by other scholars such as that of Richards and Smiege, 1993 are generally ignored. The outcomes of the oft-quoted 10-year study of Judith S. Wallerstein cannot be trusted as it started with subjects with problems such as from ones with psychological disorders or juvenile delinquents on the first hand. Children of single parents can be as healthy and emotionally secure as those from traditional families.

Myth: Single-parent families mean ‘broken homes’.
Fact: Parents who chose divorce or not marrying as a way of their life doe not necessarily mean that they are trying to make a broken home work. Many times, it turns out to be the healthiest choice to give children a peaceful and stable home environment. Positive outcomes in single-parent families are not uncommon and single parents are often more independent and multi-tasking and their children actually learn to handle greater responsibility.

The outcome of single parent families actually depends on social network and support to the family and good communication within the family. Children of divorcees can be as healthy and well-settled as other kids while they even enjoy greater stability and happiness in their marriages, as they are more adjusting and concentrate more on keeping their families intact and happy.

Myth: Being brought up in single-parent families is detrimental to children’s self-esteem.
Fact: Children’s self-esteem is linked mostly to the income level of the family. Since single-parent families also have single income coming in, they are often low-income households too and thus, children's self-esteem tend to be lower too, similar to children of low-income two-parent homes. Parents can teach resilience and self-esteem skills to their children by being a model to them, boosting their self-respect and self-nurturance and make them realize that their possessions do not determine what they are.

Myth: Families need to be self-sufficient, while single parent families aren’t.
Fact: The emphasis on self-sufficiency often produces unnecessary shame and guilt in parents who are emotionally and financially challenged, including the single parents. One has to learn to be interdependent, give and receive; taking our own responsibilities and asking for support and engaging even professional help, when needed. Parents should not become too dependent on children for social and psychological support but rather join support group for single parents as their social outlet and fun and source for emotional and child care support. Families should also engage in volunteering within the community so that they learn the balance between nurturing and being nurtured and each family member may become more mature and independent.


Source: iloveindia

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Facts About Single Parenting

From the seventies single parents have increased. This is because of the problems in marital life and divorce. There are some couples who do not wed but have a child of their relationship. In such a case at the time of separation the child is left with a single parent. The death of any one of the parent could leave the child with a single parent.

There are certain facts about single parenting that needs be dealt with. It is not easy to single handedly bring up a child. It is a struggle, which would be both with emotions and money. It is necessary to be a role model for your child. This would be helpful so that your child follows your footsteps and does not idealize some body who may not be worth it. Thus, the parent needs to understand and educate the child about certain morals and responsibilities. This is a fact about single parenting.

Another fact about single parenting is that many single parents feel that they might not have bought up their child as a dual parent might have. There would be some kind of guilt in them. To remove this think positive. And you got to teach your child the values of life and face all the difficulties that life may offer.

A single parent has to undergo a lot of stress. This is a fact about single parenting. When both the parents are around the child would be taken care off by any one of them. But single parents need to pay more attention to their Childs growth. You can take the help of somebody to assist you with the task. You can keep the child in with a baby sitter when you go to work.

It is necessary to have a good communication with your child if you are a single parent. This again is a fact about single parenting. Tell your child the do's and don't. This should be done even if the child is angry with you. This would be a basic aspect of his upbringing. A good upbringing comes from teaching the right values at the right time.

It is difficult for a single parent to bring up a child. There are certain classes as well, to teach single parents how to bring up their child effectively. There are even books which can guide you to do the needful. A single parent needs to be strong mentally more than physically to fulfill the desires of the child.

Source: Robert Grazian (Ezine Articles)

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