CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

5 Single-Parenting Mistakes -- and How to Fix Them

Here are the five most common single-parent missteps and how to resolve them


Mistake No. 1: Trying to compensate for absent parent

The fix: Quit trying! "Single parents often feel guilty that there isn't another parent in the house," says Barry G. Ginsberg, Ph.D., director of The Center of Relationship Enhancement in Doylestown, Pa., and author of 50 Wonderful Ways to Be a Single-Parent Family (New Harbinger, 2003). "It's natural to feel guilty, but you don't have to compensate or take action because of the guilt."

When parents feel guilty, they try to compensate by overdoing it — showering children with toys and gadgets, meting out punishment less often or providing less structure. All of which is a disservice to the child — and to you. "When you feel guilty, you under-parent your kids by giving in to them more often than you should," says James H. Bray, Ph.D., a professor at Baylor College of Medicine and director of Baylor Family Counseling Clinic in Houston. "The vast majority [of children in single-parent households] do just as well academically and socially as children with two parents at home."

Mistake No. 2: Not having a life of your own

The fix: "It's very important that you get your adult needs met," Bray says. "If you don't, you'll be a less effective parent." You need to make time for hobbies, dating, friends and exercise. Otherwise, you may feel frustrated and resentful — emotions that can sap your energy, mentally and physically. To find that elusive time, Bray suggests that you:


> Ask family members, friends and neighbors to spend time with your child

> Form a "babysitting share" with three to four other families. On a Friday night, for example, one family can host all the kids at their home for pizza and movies, while the next Friday, it's another parent's turn, etc. The upshot: You get three to four free nights a month!

> Find a mentoring program. The Big Brothers Big Sisters program is one option, though in many big cities there are long waiting lists for mentors. (Go to www.bbbs.org to find an agency in your area.) So also check out churches or synagogues, many of which offer mentoring programs as well as sports, crafts and other activities for children.

Mistake No. 3: Overscheduling your kids

The fix: Resist the urge. Time management is a lot harder when there's just one of you. Planning soccer, piano, playdates and birthday parties so that they mesh with your work and family schedule is daunting.

"Overscheduling puts pressure on everybody," Bray says. When your child is around age 6 or 7, talk to him about prioritizing. This means explaining to your child the reality of resources (namely money and time) and that, as a family, you have to make choices. For example, tell your child that she can do karate or basketball, and ask her to choose. This will teach her about making responsible choices and give you some valuable family time together.

Mistake No. 4: Using your child as agent with other parent

The fix: Keep them out of your personal problems. Sharing custody can be prickly, especially if the breakup was contentious. Sometimes, Mom and Dad are at such odds that they use the child to make statements to one another. Big mistake. "Do not have your children act in coalition with you," Ginsberg advises. "They may have enough trouble [from the breakup] already, and it's not fair to burden them. Parents need to work out a plan.

" Although you and your co-parent may have different values (there's a reason you broke up, right?), you must find a way to work together for the sake of your child. If necessary, seek help from a third party such as a mediator or counselor. "Chances are you won't be as angry and hurt, and you'll be able to build a working relationship with the other parent," Ginsberg says. For instance, if getting homework done at Dad's house seems to be a mission impossible, get the school involved. Dad will likely be more open to the recommendations of your child's teacher or principal than he is to yours.

Mistake No. 5: Involving kids in too many adult relationships

The fix: Delay introductions. If you go through a series of romantic relationships and introduce your child to each partner, it's going to be difficult on the kid. "Wait until you know there's a possibility of a long-term relationship" before making the introduction, Bray cautions. "If you involve them in too many adult relationships, they will go through multiple losses.

" Also remember that you are your child's model for adult conduct. If you have one-night stands or go through a series of partners in a short time, and your child knows all of this is happening, you're essentially telling him it's acceptable. "Whatever you do in front of your children, gives them the message that this is proper behavior," Bray says.

Source: Revolution Health Group

Read more

Monday, April 27, 2009

How to Take Care of Yourself as a Single Parent

If you have children, you're blessed; if you're a single parent, you’re blessed and busy. Raising children is a joy; being a single parent is challenging. Taking care of yourself, running a household, earning the money, paying the rent, cleaning the house, running the errands, washing the clothes, cooking the meals, squeezing in a social life, attending school functions, doing homework, remembering to get the oil change, paying the dentist bill is hard. Balancing the checkbook is impossible. It’s difficult and you’re doing it. You’re exhausted. You want to take care of yourself, but where do you begin?


Step1
Give Yourself a Mini Break. Put aside the “To Do” list for a day. Nothing terrible will happen if you say, “not today” to your list. If you’re a single parent, you’re exhausted and can benefit from a break, but figuring out how to take one isn’t as easy as it sounds. Perhaps you might start by eliminating one tiny item from your “To Do” List. Ask yourself, “Do I really have to clean the bathrooms tonight? Can I skip scrubbing the floor? Isn’t it okay to let the kids skip a bath tonight?” A mini break from the hectic routine is a good start in taking good care of yourself.

Step2
Ask for Help.
This is often tough for women to do, but there are times when it’s healthy for us to allow others to pitch in and care for us. Our lives are so much about serving others, being busy, useful, caring and nurturing, that we forget to balance our own lives. When we are tired, sad, overwhelmed or sick it’s OK for us to allow others to help out. It’s OK to reach out and ask for what we need. I know it’s scary, but letting others help out, gives them a chance to give too.

Step3
Say “No.” You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty. Single mothers are so accustomed to saying “yes” that we’re afraid of what others will think if we don’t do what they ask. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and set limits. Even though you might be afraid of disappointing others, if we don’t stand up for ourselves we end up feeling resentful and that is not healthy for ourselves or our children.

Step4
Replenish Yourself Too.
Single moms give and give and give. We put our children first and this is natural, but it is not healthy to give until we feel drained, deprived and worn out. Overgiving is often laced with resentment and anger. It’s being a martyr and sends the unspoken message of: “after all I do for you.” This is not healthy for families. For us to give freely we need to fill ourselves up first. Then love is overflowing onto our children. Our energy comes from taking care of ourselves. Ask yourself: "What replenishes me so that I have energy?" "What small step can I take to refuel myself?"

Step5
Eliminate Should, Have to and Can't.
When we talk to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds, we are often mean and negative. We carry around a harsh inner voice that discourages and scolds us. Such messages add to our sense of aloneness and stress. If we can erase the words should, have to and can't, we empower ourself by giving ourselves more choices. We don't have to, but we may choose to. We have the power to decide for ourselves.

Source : Judy Ford (eHow)


Read more

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Common struggles of single-parent households


There was time in the not too distant past when single-parent families were relatively few, but in recent decades, there has been a dramatic increase in this type of family arrangement due mainly to increasing family problems.

In a perfect world, children have a natural right to have two parents to care for and nurture them through to adulthood. But we don't live in a perfect world and through death or divorce, there is a marked increase in single parent families.

The reality is that most single parents are women and being a single mother, perhaps with multiple children, is a monumental task. A single parent has to juggle a host of responsibilities such as housework, finances, secular work, schooling and dealing with illness when it comes along. As a result, single parenthood can become a struggle.

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

As the only breadwinner in the home, the single parent will no doubt struggle financially, perhaps having to sacrifice things other families take for granted. It may involve having to live a very frugal life, denying the children some of the luxuries their peers enjoy as standard.

LONELINESS

Even if the parent works secularly, this doesn't dispel the loneliness a single parent feels within the home. There may be children for company, but a single parent will still miss the companionship of a loving partner who can give support and assist with the children.

SOCIAL ISSUES

Behavioral problems with the children can become an issue as the children get older and the single parent has to deal with these alone. This can be overwhelming in the context of having to care for a multitude of other issues on a daily basis.

SCHOOLING

Taking care of the children's needs at school is another challenge for the single parent, having to be available for school visits, being home in time after school and dealing with any concerns arising for their children during school hours. When the children are absent from school due to illness, this can affect the single parent who is holding down a full-time job to support the household.

ILLNESS

When illness strikes in the single parent household, this can be a tremendous struggle. Even more so if it's the parent who is ill. A parent struggling with poor health will still feel the need to get on with household matters depending on the age of the children. When the children are sick, it may require the parent to take time off work to care for them, bringing further financial hardship.

Being a single parent throws up some mountainous problems, and those who cope successfully with them are to be highly commended.

Source: JC Campbell (Helium)



Read more

The Challenges of Single Parenting

One of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models for our children, showing our children through our behavior how to take personal responsibility for their own feelings and needs. Our children need to learn from our role-modeling how to nurture themselves within and how to create a sense of safety in the world. In families where both a mother and father are present, both parents can participate in nurturing the child emotionally and taking care of the child in the world, and both parents can role-model what it looks like to do this for themselves.

Single parents have a far greater challenge - they have to be both mother and father to the child. Mothering energy is that energy that nurtures while fathering energy is that energy that protects in the world - that is, earning money, setting boundaries with others, speaking up for oneself. While our society often defines women as the nurturers and men as the protectors, both men and women are capable of both nurturing and protecting in the world.

In order for a single parent to successfully be both mother and father, he or she must have learned how to be both mother and father to the Child within. In other words, we have to have learned how to nurture our own Inner Child - how to take responsibility for our own fears, pain, anger, hurt, and disappointment, and how to take care of our Inner Child in the world - earn money, set boundaries, and so on. There is no way to successfully teach our children these skills until we are doing them ourselves, which means that each of us needs to be in a process of learning how to do this

We have developed a process that teaches us how to care for and nurture ourselves, while also loving others. This process, called Inner Bonding, teaches us how to become a loving Adult to our own Inner Child and to our actual children. Inner Bonding is a six-step psychospiritual process that can be learned and practiced daily, and that leads to the development of a spiritually-connected loving inner Adult.

Inner Bonding defines the Inner Child as our core self, who we are when we are born - our natural creativity, intuition, playfulness, imagination, talents, feelings, and ability to love. Our Child is our inner experience. Our Adult is everything we learn after we are born. It is our thoughts, beliefs, and ability to take action. We start learning how to be an Adult from the moment we are born through watching our parents and other caregivers. The Adult we learn to be is a child-adult, the part of us that learned many fears and false beliefs and learned addictive ways, such as using substances, TV, spending, anger, or compliance to avoid pain. A true loving Adult is that part of us that is spiritually connected to a Higher Source of truth and love and is able to bring that truth and love down into the Child and share it with others. The adult many of us operate from most of the time is really a wounded child masquerading as an adult. It is our unhealed wounded self that causes us problems with ourselves and our children. Inner Bonding is a process for healing the wounded self and developing a spiritually-connected loving Adult.

In Inner Bonding, there are only two possible intents at any given moment: the intent to learn about love and the intent to protect against and avoid pain. The intent to learn says that we want to learn about our own pain in order to understand what we need to do to be loving to our Inner Child and others; The intent to protect says that we want to avoid experiencing our pain at all cost. The child-adult is always in the intent to protect and the loving Adult is always in the intent to learn.

The six-steps of Inner Bonding are:

1. The willingness to become aware of our pain rather than protect against it with our various addictions.

2. The conscious decision to move into the intent to learn.

3. Dialoguing with our wounded self to discover the false beliefs and resulting behavior behind the pain. Releasing anger and pain in appropriate ways.

4. Dialoguing with our Higher Power to learn about truth and loving behavior.
5. Taking loving action in behalf or our Inner Child.

6. Evaluating the action.

All parents needs to be in a process of healing themselves. It is particularly important for single parents to be in this process since they are the primary role-models for their children. The more you heal the fears and false beliefs of your wounded self, the more loving you will naturally be with yourself and your children. Learning to utilize these six steps throughout the day, especially in times of anger, fear, anxiety and stress, will eventually heal the false beliefs leading to these difficult feelings.


Source : Margaret Paul Ph.D. (EzineArticles)

Read more

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tips for coping with stress

Coping with stress is easier when you identify your stress triggers, manage your time well, and take steps to curb job burnout.

In small doses, stress is a good thing. It can energize and motivate you and perhaps even prevent or delay certain types of damage to your cells. But prolonged or excessive stress — the kind that overwhelms your ability to cope — can take a severe psychological and physical toll. High stress levels have been linked to depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, musculoskeletal problems, an impaired immune system and cancer.

The following tips may help reduce your stress.

· Keep a stress journal. For one week, note which events and situations cause a negative physical, mental or emotional response. Record the day and time. Give a brief description of the situation. Where were you? Who was involved? What seemed to cause the stress? Also, describe your reaction. What were your physical symptoms? How did you feel? What did you say or do? Finally, on a scale of 1 (not very intense) to 5 (very intense), rate the intensity of your stress.

· Make a list of all the demands on your time and energy for one week. Some examples may include your job, volunteer work, driving kids to after-school activities or caring for an elderly parent. Then, on a scale of 1 (not very intense) to 5 (very intense), rate the intensity of stress that each demand causes.

Sit down and look at your stress recordings. Pay particular attention to events that you ranked as very stressful. Select one of them to work on using problem-solving techniques. That means identifying and exploring the problem, looking for ways to resolve it, and selecting and implementing a solution.
Suppose, for instance, that you're behind at work because you leave early to pick up your son from school. You might check with other parents to see if your son can ride with them. Or, you might come in early, work through your lunch hour or take work home to catch up. The best way to cope with stress is to try to find a way to change the circumstances that are causing it.

Improve your time management skills

Effective time management skills can help you identify goals, set priorities and minimize stress in your life. Use these tips to improve your time management skills and lower your stress level.

· Create realistic expectations and deadlines for yourself, and set regular progress reviews.
· Throw away unimportant papers on your desk.
· Prepare a master list of tasks. Throughout the day, scan your master list and work on tasks in priority order.
· Use a planner. Store addresses and telephone numbers there. Copy tasks from your master list onto the page for the day on which you expect to do them. Evaluate and prioritize daily.
· For especially important or difficult projects, reserve an interruption-free block of time behind closed doors.

Extinguish job burnout

Nowhere is stress more likely than in the workplace. Twenty-five percent of people say that their job is the primary stressor in their lives. And the vast majority of workers believe that on-the-job stress is worse today than it was just 10 years ago.

Job stress can affect your professional and personal relationships, your livelihood, and your health.

Here are strategies you can use:

· Identify the source of the problem. Whether it's an unrealistic workload, job insecurity, inadequate compensation, office politics or a hostile work environment, you need to figure out what's making you miserable at work and then take steps to deal with it.
· Develop friendships at work and outside the office. Sharing unsettling feelings with people you trust is the first step toward resolving them. Minimize activities with "negative" people who only reinforce bad feelings.
· Take time off. Take a vacation or a long weekend. During the workday, take short breaks.
· Set limits. When necessary, learn to say no in a friendly but firm manner.
. Choose battles wisely. Don't rush to argue every time someone disagrees with you. Keep a cool head, and save your argument for things that really matter.
· Have an outlet. Read, enjoy a hobby, exercise or get involved in some other activity that is relaxing and gets your mind off work.
· Seek help. If none of these things relieves your feelings of stress or burnout, ask a health care professional for advice.


Source : Mayo Clinic staff (MayoClinic.com)

Read more

Stress Free Lifestyle For Single Moms - The Top 7 Tips to Diffuse Your Stress

The best gift you can give yourself as a single mom constantly juggling many balls at the same time is a stress free lifestyle. Lifestyle for single moms need not be stressful; it can be relaxing, fun and enjoyable. Here are some tips for attaining that:


Tip 1 - Take Slow, Deep Breaths - Stop what you are doing and take long, slow, deep breaths without having your mind race through the many things you need to get done all at once. Taking 1 to 2 minutes of deep breadth whenever you need to will help release stress.

Tip 2 - Clear the Tension in Your Body - Loosen up and relax any tensed muscles from the jaw to your neck, shoulder, arms, chest, hamstrings, knees, calves and ankles. Unwind your body and hang loose. You will feel more composed.

Tip 3 - Clear Your Mind - Things can get overwhelming when we try to multitask. You think you are saving time but you are not able to give careful attention to any one of the task you are multitasking. Choose one thing to work on at any one time and work your way through them one by one.

Tip 4 - Clear Your Vision - Know what is the one thing you are pursuing so you do not end up running after all the good thing you want to have. Do not allow the many good things to cloud out the one thing that you are pursuing.

Tip 5 - Clarify Your Purpose - Know why you are doing what you are doing. When your activities are aligned with your values, the activities will not seem burdensome but instead a mission and a joy which brings fulfillment.

Tip 6 - Choose Your Perspectives - Life can be heavy and monotonous while we grind through what needs to be down or it can be fun filled. What if we see each day as a chapter in a play and you the main actress? Ask how you can lighten up the stressful moments as you go about your daily tasks.

Tip 7 - Clear the Junk! - Throw away mindsets, attitudes, activities, plans that do not help contribute to the one thing you are pursuing. You will have more time and space for living and enjoying a stress free life.

Apply these tips and you can live stress free lives. Better still, be in a community with other single moms and share lessons learnt applying these tips. Being able to talk about your experiences in a safe and supportive environment itself will help releases stress. Find a community in your area and get supported.


Source : Louisa Chan (EzineArticles)

Read more

Sunday, April 19, 2009

How to Handle Stress As a Single Parent

Being a parent is very, very stressful. When you top that with work, family and chores around the house - after a while you feel as if you could just crawl into bed and never get up. Being a single parent is even more stressful. Often times, it feels as if there is no one else in the whole world that can help alleviate some of your load or help you to avoid so much stress. This article discusses some of the ways that you can handle stress as a single parent and get through the tougher times.


ME Time


Everyone, especially single parents, need me time. This is very important for keeping your stress level low and keeping you happy. However, most single parents feel as if there isn't one single minute during the day that they can steal just for themselves. The key is to make some. If you don't do it, you will keep devoting 24 hours a day to everyone else and none to you. Hire a sitter to take the kids for a few hours each week and go see a movie. Leave the kids at a family member's house on a weekend night and enjoy the time you need. Whether you go out and remember what it's like to be a person and not just a parent or you lie on the couch and watch movies - it's still YOUR time.

Laugh

There are probably few times during your day when you feel like laughing. However, laughing is just plain out good for you. Laugh with your kids, watch some comedy - do something to make yourself laugh. It's amazing how much stress you shed when you're giggling to the point that you're crying! If you can't find something to make yourself laugh - make your kids laugh. Make funny faces at them or tickle them until they laugh. Soon, you'll end up rolling in your own laughter as well!

Calming Techniques

Stress is very bad for your heart, your body and can actually make you physically sick. Try a few calming techniques next time you find yourself wound to the point of snapping. For instance, close your eyes and breathe very slowly and deeply. Count to ten in your mind and see the numbers in your mind's eye. By the time you get to 10, you will have evened your breathing and begun to calm down. Another thing you can do is imagine something that is comforting to you - whether it's a hammock in the yard or a crackling fireplace. Imagine it until you see it clearly, smell the smells, hear the sounds and more - you will calm yourself down so that you can move on.

Stress is terrible - it is definitely a silent killer and it's important to find something which reduces the stress in our lives. Each time you feel yourself becoming stressed, try one of the techniques in this article to calm yourself down until you are able to continue without the stress. Good luck.

Source : Danielle L. Taylor (EzineArticles)

Read more

Tips to Relax for Single Parents

Life as a single parent can be emotionally, mentally and physically draining. They have to handle work, household chores and children all the same time. They have to play the roles of both ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ single-handedly. Here are some tips to plan your schedule, take out some time to relax, manage everything and remain sane for single parents:


· Stop being bogged down with guilt and regret for things you are not able to do.
· Before going to bed at night, plan the next day.
· In the morning, first review your priorities and do things likewise.
· You may have to compromise with some things and learn to prioritize. Perhaps, doing laundry is more important than mopping and sweeping one day or visiting the school of children may override your visit to the bank on another day.
· Paperless desk fills you with positive thoughts, so avoid clutter and throw anything you can. Try to see a paper, work on it immediately and get it out of your way or just file it away, if it’s for future.
· Skills used for office management prove handy at home too. Clean workplace and three folders labeled ‘Urgent’, ‘ASAP’ and ‘To be Filed’ will make your life much more easier.
· Good filing system will ensure that you don’t have to spend hours looking for some paper later on in the long run. Labeled manila file folders should be kept in a file cabinet with drawers.
· A small tape recorder with headphones can allow you to schedule anything that comes to your mind while driving or cooking. You can do planning, make appointments and listen to songs and even novels too.
· Ask for help from other family members, neighbors and friends or whoever is willing to help and let the kids help too.
· Set alarms for everything and concentrate on only one thing for a set period of time. When the alarm rings, move on to another task and leave the task at hand for another day.
· Set about half an hour in the evening just for your child and let him or her know that at this time he or she can get your undivided attention. If necessary, turn off the mobile and keep the phone off the hook, so there are no distractions.
· Set about 20 minutes for just yourself too and do whatever makes you feel better such as relax, scream, exercise, cry or laugh. Teach the child not to interrupt you at that time and you may make somebody see young children for just that time. The timer may tell the child, when he can speak to you again.
· Things or fulfilling child’s every wish and whim cannot replace the missing parent ever. Over-compensation the children may just spoil them and they may turn selfish and may try to control you.
· Once a month, ask someone to baby-sit your child while you can try and do all the short errands and odd jobs on the appointed day.
· Things do get out of control sometimes and you can take time to just relax or think over things while you are waiting in traffic or queues.
· If you are too tired or stressed, do not feel ashamed of putting off things or procrastinating.
· Writing up notes, addresses and phone numbers on a small diary or small cards that can be put in file will keep you from losing them.
· On weekends, just relax and enjoy time with your child. Get all work done on weekdays itself.
· Share work and time with your kids and try to do it now such as cleaning kid’s room and get older kids help to cook and then go on a fun trip together.


Source: Parenting (iloveindia)

Read more

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Ten Tips for Single Parents

1. Ask for help if you need it. Remember that it is a sign of strength, not weakness, to seek help and accept it when problems are overwhelming . Seek out professional counselors in your community, or from PWP and friends.

2. Allow yourself and your children time for readjustment.


3. Remember that a single parent home doesn't have to be harmful to your children and don't attribute all difficulties to your single situation. Whether you are the visiting parent or the primary rearing the children, your ability to cope makes an important difference.

4. Allow bitterness, jealously, blaming, revenge, and self-pity to disappear from your life. Such emotions drain energy from the important tasks of building a good home for your children and a new life for yourself.

5. Allow your children to respect and love the other parent. Don't belittle the parent or involve the children in battles, or force them to "choose." Remember that the children's feelings and perceptions of parents are not the same as those of the spouse for a spouse.

6 . Try to remember the positive parts of your marriage, but without living in the past. Share the good memories with your children.

7. Make sure your children understand that they did not cause the single parent situation and that they are not being rejected by the other parent. Make sure they know you won't abandon them and that you will be able to care for them.

8. Be open and honest; share your feeling with your children and let them share theirs with you. But don't impose your feelings, or demand their confidences.

9. Make an effort to think of yourself as an individual and not part of someone else. Examine old feelings of dependency and neediness. The value you place on yourself will be reflected in your children's sense of self-worth.

10 .While it's easy to become wrapped up in your children, take some time for yourself. Use your single status as an opportunity for growth and development. Make each day count by trying something new or making new friends. Remember that your situation will change old relationships and will lead to new ones.

Source : A Better Child ( education .com)

Read more

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Single Parenting - Four Role Models to Avoid


Nobody ever said single parenting is easy. As parents, we all learn with time. However, too often, the pressure of single parenting can be so overwhelming that it’s easy to make mistakes.

Are you one of these single parents? Learn how you can avoid being one:

The Emotional Patient
Most single parents try to be a good friend to their children, which is a good thing. However, a problem arises when single dads or moms see their children as a source of emotional support. Children of single parents need stability and security. A divorce or the death of a parent can be a particularly traumatic experience for them. No matter how mature or old your children are, avoid making them your confidante on issues such as how much money you have or what a lousy day you had. Don’t rob them of their time to be children. It is unfair to burden them with issues that are difficult for them to handle. If you need to speak to someone, speak to your friends or a counselor.

The Guilt Tripper
As a single parent, it is easy to feel guilty about many things. Not being around when your children need you, not being able to help them with their homework, and so on. The danger with feeling guilty all the time is that some single parents tend to develop a lower self esteem that they may pass on to the children. Don’t be hard on yourself. Learn to take the ups and downs in your stride. And, by all means, don’t try to bolster your self-image by fishing for compliments about what kind of parent you are.

The Permissive Parent
Children need as much love and attention as you can give them. However, some single parents make the mistake of being too permissive and never correct their children when it’s necessary. Research has shown that the children brought up in overly permissive parenting style may develop behavioral problems because they do not easily accept responsibility.

Be firm and know where to draw the line. Shower your children with affection but set clear rules and limits. This, of course, does not mean being harsh or too authoritarian. Perfect the art of saying “I love you but a NO means a NO.”

The Martyr
Single parenting can be such an overwhelming experience that many parents simply forget to take care of themselves. With all the effort and sacrifice required to handle regular tasks such as meals and activities, it’s no surprise that many single parents get burned out. Don’t be a martyr. Your children require your time and energy and the only way to sustain it is by allotting some time for yourself. Pamper yourself from time to time, be it writing in your journal, listening to music, or working out in the gym. Arrange for a babysitter or a trusted friend to look after your children when you are away. Look at it not just as time goofing off, but very important re-charging time so you can get back to the difficult job of being a great dad/mom.


Source : GreatDad Writers

Read more

Single Parenting...Challenging yet REWARDING!

Being a single parent and raising a child is the toughest and yet rewarding job that a person can have. It is full of ups and downs… There are times when anger and frustrations sets in. But it’s normal just don’t have to take out your feelings to your children.


Parenthood is a very demanding job and once you’ve accepted it you can never resign! And as for me being a single mom, it’s very difficult to raise a child all by myself. Like a typical mom, I have fears, worries . if I will be able to raise my child in a good way. If I will be a good mother to him . If I will be able to give all the things he need. If I will be able to send him to a good school . Full of if’s , but I know with the support of my family and friends I will conquer all those fears and worries.


Parenting does not have a destination. It does not have a landing pad where you finally realise it all. Rather it is a journey of maturation and growth. Of learning alongside our children as together we charter unknown territory.

Read more