Single Parenting

myths and facts and truths about single parenting and single parent families.

Single parents and their children often have to face stigma, violence and social problems based on myths, stereotypes, half-truths and prejudices. Sometimes, the taunts can be subtle and leave subconscious effects. The best approach is to confront them and understand what is true and what is not. Some of the myths have been cross-examined

Myth: Since culturally, traditional nuclear families are the norm and predominant, single parenting is an aberration and single parents are often left lonely and isolated.
Fact: Recently, single parent families have shown a sharp rise. In U.S. alone, about 59 percent of American children have lived in a single-parent home at least once during their minor years and over 16 million children currently live in single-parent homes. They are often ‘bi-nuclear’ families, where despite divorces and re-marriages, both the parents are actively involved in parenting and offer their children two separate homes

Myth: Children from single-parent families have emotional and behavior problems and do poorly in school.
Fact: These conclusions are completely false and untainted researches by other scholars such as that of Richards and Smiege, 1993 are generally ignored. The outcomes of the oft-quoted 10-year study of Judith S. Wallerstein cannot be trusted as it started with subjects with problems such as from ones with psychological disorders or juvenile delinquents on the first hand. Children of single parents can be as healthy and emotionally secure as those from traditional families.

Myth: Single-parent families mean ‘broken homes’.
Fact: Parents who chose divorce or not marrying as a way of their life doe not necessarily mean that they are trying to make a broken home work. Many times, it turns out to be the healthiest choice to give children a peaceful and stable home environment. Positive outcomes in single-parent families are not uncommon and single parents are often more independent and multi-tasking and their children actually learn to handle greater responsibility.

The outcome of single parent families actually depends on social network and support to the family and good communication within the family. Children of divorcees can be as healthy and well-settled as other kids while they even enjoy greater stability and happiness in their marriages, as they are more adjusting and concentrate more on keeping their families intact and happy.

Myth: Being brought up in single-parent families is detrimental to children’s self-esteem.
Fact: Children’s self-esteem is linked mostly to the income level of the family. Since single-parent families also have single income coming in, they are often low-income households too and thus, children's self-esteem tend to be lower too, similar to children of low-income two-parent homes. Parents can teach resilience and self-esteem skills to their children by being a model to them, boosting their self-respect and self-nurturance and make them realize that their possessions do not determine what they are.

Myth: Families need to be self-sufficient, while single parent families aren’t.
Fact: The emphasis on self-sufficiency often produces unnecessary shame and guilt in parents who are emotionally and financially challenged, including the single parents. One has to learn to be interdependent, give and receive; taking our own responsibilities and asking for support and engaging even professional help, when needed. Parents should not become too dependent on children for social and psychological support but rather join support group for single parents as their social outlet and fun and source for emotional and child care support. Families should also engage in volunteering within the community so that they learn the balance between nurturing and being nurtured and each family member may become more mature and independent.


Source: iloveindia

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Single parent-norm in the future?

Salaam Namaste, a popular Hindi flick released late last-year popularised live-in relationships and also glamourised single parenthood! Many single parents are better educated and are able to support themselves so marriage is no longer a financial prerequisite to parenthood. Under enormous work-pressure families are splitting-up and giving rise to single parenthood.

A study indicates that a single parent raises 20 million kids in the US. Though not so marked in India, the phenomenon is no longer raising eyebrows. Even though the society has accepted it, the Government's social policy has not addressed it. According to Deepti Priya Mehrotra, a political scientist who has done her doctorate on the Women's Movement in India, single mother as a category is not recognized in the census data.

There are two versions of single parenthood reported in India; one set-in by actress Sushmita Sen, who adopted a baby whilst still single and the other, which arises under marital circumstances. J K Rowling, the British author of fabulously successful Harry Potter books, and an ambassador for one-parent families asserts, "people bringing up children single-handedly deserve not condemnation, but congratulation".

Following the footsteps of Sushmita Sen and Raveena Tandon (adopted 2 children ten years back) are the average Indian women, who are enjoying the satisfaction of becoming mothers (something that makes a woman 'complete'), even though many of them remain single. Skipping the 'attachment' of marriage and men, they are opting to become single parents - by adopting a child. The most common argument of a non-believer is that a single parent (woman) would never do justice to the child because of the social dishonor attached to unwed mothers. They are thought of as the 'bottom of the barrel'. The other thing, which stops her, is the fear of her incident death. Who would take care of the child thereafter?

In a situation, where a family has split or at the death of a parent, coping with the problems of a single-income household and finding ways to go-on sans support systems, at first is hard. Key characteristics of single-parent families are the limited resources (especially time, energy, and money) available to them. Single-parent families in today's society have their share of daily struggles and long-term disadvantages. The issues of expensive day care, shortage of quality time with children, balance of work and home duties and economic struggles are among the seemingly endless problems these families must solve.

On the brighter side, India's first case of a surrogate child was conceived of a single father. Amit Banerjee, a 46 yr old divorcee expressed his wishes and now is a proud single father. "In my 25 years of experience, this is the first time a man has come forward with a wish to father a child. This is a trend-setting example of single fatherhood in the country," says his Doctor Ghosh Dastidar.

The country's capital celebrates Annual Adoption week every November and adoption agencies point out that the number of single parents adopting children have increased. Since 1988 there have been just 12-13 single parents who have gone for adoption whereas in the past nine months, there have been three such cases.

The whole concept of a family, is undergoing a massive change, but whether it is the beginning of a revolution or not, is a question that has yet to be answered!!

Source: Pregathi K (oneindia)

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Single Parent Adoption and Women

The past few decades have brought a previously never seen and a remarkable increase in the number of families headed by single mothers. Yet, unlike the stereotypical images conjured up by the general population of an un-wed, poverty-stricken, uneducated, and abandoned young teen or woman facing parenthood alone and ostracized, an increasing number of successful single well-educated professional women in their 30's and 40's are arriving at motherhood by choice and through adoption.

Single Parent Adoption and International Adoption

Advocates note the number of both domestic and international adoptions have been steadily increasing over the last decade. However, compared to their married counterparts, citing the process of international adoption as less lengthy and the likelihood of adopting a younger child much greater, single women are more likely to pursue international adoption over domestic adoption. With domestic adoption, birth mothers are more likely to select couples over singles for their babies and age is a greater consideration with most agencies.

Single Parent Adoption and the Need to Nurture

Not unlike their married counterparts who pursue adoption, single women often pursue motherhood citing the same need and desire to love and nurture a child of their own. However, unlike married couples, the single woman faces the arduous process and costs of adoption alone and with the reality she may end up raising her child alone without a father or partner.
Many single mothers who adopt will openly share although they have chosen motherhood at this point in their lives; they are not necessarily single by choice and hope to ultimately parent their child with a partner. Others are not only comfortable with being single but choose to remain single throughout the adoption process and the raising of a child to adulthood. Faced with the reality of a ticking biological clock, numerous of them have unsuccessfully pursued intrauterine insemination with donor sperm &/or donor egg prior to pursuing adoption as the road to parenthood.

Single Parent Adoption and Society

Whereas friends, family, and society may embrace the married adoptive couple for rescuing or adopting a child and elevate them to the status of saints, single mothers are not always so readily lauded for their desire and plan to pursue motherhood through adoption. Detractors and critics will accuse the single mother of selfishness for not providing the adoptive child a father and an intact home. Others will erroneously point to and cite statistics linking single motherhood to a variety of potential social ills for their child. To pursue the consideration and possibility of adoption, a single woman may even have to develop newfound courage to conquer her own inner demons and alleviate her own previously held thoughts and beliefs about adoption.

Single Parent Adoption and Guilt

After investing so much financially and personally in fertility treatments or traveling around the world to finalize the legalities of adoption, both married and single adoptive parents may struggle with high expectations and transition to sharing their lives with a child. Single mothers can feel guilt and shame when they long for moments of solitude and the independence of their former single lives. Unlike married couples, where ‘alone time’ may not need to be scheduled or arranged well in advance, single mothers often need to make arrangements ahead of time and allocate limited financial resources to get their own “Mommy time”.

Single Parent Adoption and Support Systems

Fortunately the Internet, television, and the media have raised awareness of the issues single women face in the adoption process as well as the challenges they may deal with after placement. Furthermore, the 24/7 nature of the Internet and the availability of tremendous amounts of information and resources on the web specific to single mothers have led to an increasingly savvy and well prepared prospective adoptive mother. The successful single mother realizes it is not a sign of her weakness or an indication of failure to reach out for assistance and support. Whether via a support group for adoptive families, her personal counselor or the cyber world, she and her newly adopted child are well served by reaching out and receiving help. As she makes the transition into her new role as a mother, the guidance and information gathered from single mothers who traveled the road ahead of her assists her in watching out for known potholes and barriers, a benefit for her and her child.

It is not reasonable to assume all married couples will stay married, nor should it be presumed all singles will forever remain single. Instead advocates for adoption by single women note an individual’s character, strength and potential parenting capacity are better considered in providing a child with an adoptive home.


Source: Martha Osborne (About.com)

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Effective Discipline for Single Parents

All parents face a variety of challenges when faced with discipline. Single parents, however, face unique challenges when it comes to discipline. Being the sole enforcer of rules and then consequences and discipline can seem daunting and isn't exactly an easy job.

In addition, when you share your kids between two households, disciplinary methods used between the two households often cause confusion of rules and difficulty with discipline. One of the best ways to learn effective discipline strategies is to know the difference between Discipline and Punishment. They are not the same.

According to dictionary.com the definition for Punishment is:

PUNISHMENT: n.

1. A penalty imposed for wrongdoing: "The severity of the punishment must... be in keeping with the kind of obligation which has been violated" (Simone Weil).
2. Rough handling; mistreatment: These old skis have taken a lot of punishment over the years.

And the definition for Discipline is:

DISCIPLINE: n.

1. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
2. Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.

So as you can figure out, punishment is a method a parent uses to teach discipline to a child, so that the child learns to behave properly on their own through self-control. We want to teach our children to actually want to behave properly.

Here are a few examples of ways that this might be accomplished:

Clearly state your expectation. "It's time to go to bed. Turn off the T.V., brush your teeth and hop into bed." If your child does what you ask, reward him with praise (rather than a prize). "You did a great job of getting ready for bed. Thank you for listening so well." Any type of affectionate reward - lots of hugs, kisses, high fives, clapping and pats on the back, help to increase their self esteem and motivate them to do it again. If your child refuses or ignores your request, then a clear warning should be given immediately. "I'm reminding you just this one time to get ready for bed." If the warning is not heeded, then quickly enforce with an appropriate punishment. "There will not be T.V. tomorrow before bed since you chose not to get ready for bed when I asked you to". Then you have to remember to enforce it the next evening, with a gentle reminder of why.

When a child learns that you mean what you say, she will begin to understand how wonderful it can feel to her when she pleases you by listening and following directions, and how it doesn't feel so good when she doesn't. Having your approval and a peaceful loving response will become all the reward your child wants for herself - and that's effective discipline.



Source: Nicole Humphrey (families.com)

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Single Parents 10 Ways To Create A Life Long Relationship With Your Kid, It’s Easy!

I know as a single parent, the days seem to be never ending with so much needing to be done. In the mean time your child is growing up, time is slipping away, here are 10 ways to create lasting memories and develop the relationship with your child.

1. Go to the Library. You can get books, movies and music from the library, there is lots of ideas to be found there.

2. ChildHood Memories. Introduce your child to the things you liked when you were growing up.

3. To Do List. Make a list of the things you want your child to do/be/have before he or she grows up.

4. Ask Your Child add to the above list things your child wants to.

5. Check the Newspaper. I found the weekend guide to be a great resource for free or low cost things to do.

6. Ask Other Parents. Ask them what they do. You could invite your child’s friends and family to an outing or over for an evening of fun at home.

7. Family Volunteer Opportunities. There are so many groups and organizations that would love you and your child to come help out. Check out what is available in your area and try a few. Repeat the one or ones that appeals to you both.

8. Volunteer For A School Field Trip or Party. Check your schedule and plan to take some time to be with your child during the school day. The school is always looking for parent volunteers, so ask what is needed and do what fits for you.

9. Go To Church/Temple/SynagogueCheck a few out until you find a fit. There are many resources available at these places of worship.

10. Special Groups.Look for groups gathering or organizations of people who like to do what you like to do. Lots of hobbyists meet to spend time with other people who like the same things. What a great way to meet new people.

Source: Laura C. Ries (ArticleDashboard.com)

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Ten Ways For A Better Balanced Single Parent Life

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by all the things you have on your to-do list? With all that Parenting entails, career, family, social service, self, and doing it alone as a single parent, the tasks can get out of control. Seems like the more I do, the more there is left on the to-do list. Finding balance can be a challenge. Below are ways to take the pressures of life and get them into order and under control.

1. Circle of Life – A great way to see where your life may be out of balance is to create a Circle of life chart. Draw a circle and dissect it like a pie. At each spoke write down a different aspect of your life. My circle has work, family, self, social service, finance, and health. Then rate each item from one to 10. 1 is the least amount of balance of that aspect and 10 the most. Put a dot on the circle where you have rated each aspect. Connect the dots. Is your circle fairly round? Or are there places where it is flat? Those are the areas to focus on.

2.Kick off Questions - Ask yourself the following questions. The answers will help you schedule your time and round out the balance of your life. What has been working in your life? What hasn’t? Why? What do you plan to do? What relationships make you doubt yourself or are crazy making? Which relationships encourage you to be your best? What are you going to focus on in the next day, next week, 3 months?

3.Morning Journal - Every morning when I get up I take three pieces of paper and write. Whatever comes to mind, I write it down. I’ve found out some interesting things about myself. If I write something I want to keep, I’ll circle it and keep writing. When I’m done with the three pages, I’ll transfer the items I’ve circled on to my to-do list.

4.Talk to someone who’s already been there done that. Talking to someone who has been through what you are going through, helps one’s perspective. For example, toilet training battles and the car key issues seem more manageable when you have someone who can tell you, “They are all potty trained by the time they are 18 and letting the kids drive gives you something to take away when needed.”

5.Activity of your own - I know you think your list of things to do is too long. However, when you spend some time doing what you like, you get re-energized to tackle the other things that might not be as much fun. I told each of my children that they could have an activity. I told them I would have one too. In our family that meant there were 4 activities to schedule. I set the expectation that sometimes the activities may conflict and a decision would need to be made about which one would be done. This actually didn’t happen often and when it did, the kids helped find solutions to the conflict.

6.100 things to do – Make a list of 100 things you want to do. Don’t edit the list, it is important to write down what you want so you can start to focus on making it happen. You may need to find some creative ways to do them and that will be part of the fun. Ask your kids what they’d like to do. And let them help with the planning.

7.Big things first – Now begin to block off your calendar. Put the big items first, that way they will be sure to get done. If you and your family will be taking some time off this year for a vacation, decide when and where you want to go. Now you can be sure to ask for the time off, and set aside the money needed in plenty of time. Fill in when the activities are scheduled. Then fill in other items.

8.Body, mind and soul – As you are making your lists and creating your calendar, make sure to include things to improve your body, mind and soul. These items can be done on your own, with your children, or with friends.

9.Decide to – One of the most important things involved with balancing your life it to make the decision. If you look at your life and say, “I can’t”. You’ll be right. If you decide you want to make some changes, you will be more likely to do so.

10.Create a new life – It has been said that it takes from 30-90 days to create a new habit. That is 1-3 months time. Wow, if you are feeling out of balance today, you can use some of these steps to have a better balance. In 3 months time, stop and take a look at the changes you have made and the effect they have had on your life.


Source: Laura c. Ries (ArticleDashboard.com)

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How to Save Money as a Single Parent

Dealing with money as a single parent can be very stressful. One income and one parent has to run a household and pay for the costs of supporting a family. Learning how to take advantage of money saving strategies will help stretch your finances farther for your family.

Instructions:

Step 1. Set priorities. As a single parent you will need to make limited funds go as far a possible. Make sure you first focus on what your family needs. When you are able to financially cover basic needs such as food, shelter, child care and education, then you can look into providing your family with what is wants such karate classes, name brand items or a weekend outing.

Step 2. Shopping at thrift stores for furniture, appliances, and clothing whenever possible is a great way to save money as a single parent. Be on the look out for thrift store sales as well to make your money go even farther.

Step 3. Walk or use public transportation whenever possible. If you are lucky enough to live somewhere with great public transportation then you can eliminate the cost of gas, insurance, and car maintenance. If public transportation is not an option for you then try to combine trips when you run errands or walk any place that is within a reasonable distance.

Step 4. Get hair cuts at beauty schools. Instructors will be there to supervise and correct errors if necessary and you will save a big chunk of money.

Step 5. Entertain your kids using free public resources. Visit the library for story hours, rent movies or search for good books to read in the following weeks. Go to local parks to use the playground or hike on trails.

Step 6. Buy in bulk and buy generic for groceries whenever possible. Freeze perishable items that you won't use right away and stock up on non-perishable items when they are on sale.

Step 7. Eat out only as an occasional treat. Make preparing meals a family activity. Put on some music and talk about your days as you all prepare the meal together. Let your children help find recipes that they would like to try out.

Step 8. Keep a coin bank. Any time anyone has extra change in their purse or pocket dump it in the change bank. See how much money accumulates over the course of a year and use that for a special outing or item for the family.


Source: eHow Personal Finance Editor (eHow)

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How to Be a Confident Single Mom

Being a single mom can be a challenging and rewarding experience, but remember all parents come in different shapes and sizes. It is more important that you be confident in your role as a parent and remember that you are doing the most important job in the world, raising kids. Read on to learn how to be a confident single mom.

Instructions

Step 1. Believe that you can be a confident and successful single parent, whether you made the choice yourself or it was out of your control. This believe in yourself will be a guiding light when issues arise.

Step 2. Define your family as you and your children. A family does not need a specific number of adults or to meet any other standard. Be sure to explain this to your children and to anyone who questions you.

Step 3. Ignore negative stereotypes about single parent households and kids raised in single family homes. You will shape your child, their beliefs and their behavior, not the fact that you are a single mom.

Step 4. Ask trusted friends and family to help, especially when they can contribute their own knowledge and skills. A married couple would ask friends to help put together a swing set and a single mom should do the same.

Step 5. Budget wisely for your children, yourself and your future. Although it may be hard to say "no" to a small thing here and there, it will be much more difficult to say "no" to college later on.

Step 6. Search out support from other single parents. This is a great support system for times of stress, as well as for times when you want to share your accomplishments.


Source: eHow Parenting Editor

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Advantages of Being a Single Parent

The advantages of being a single parent are not as obvious as the disadvantages, yet such advantages do exist. Parenting with another adult requires cooperation, consensus and compromise. Single parents often make all major decisions independent of another's influence or desires. Single parents also understand the value of all aspects of parenting because they must wear all the hats.

History

Single parents are not just the result of unsuccessful relationships or divorce. Single parents can be created through widowhood, adoption, unplanned pregnancy and other life-altering situations. Single parenting received wide-spread focus during the 1980s and 1990s, highlighting differences between single parents and divorced parents. The studies focused on the rising number of single-parent versus dual-parent homes. According to "Psychology Today," those numbers jumped from 1 in 2 to 2 out of 3 families that were single parents or never-wed parents versus the more traditional model of family. Psychologists studied the effects of the single-parent home model on children including, but not limited to, their drop-out rate from school, their chances of becoming a single parent themselves and their likelihoods of success. Conservative studies found that children of single parents performed lower on average than children of two-parent homes, but factors like economic status, educational opportunities and supportive child care were not taken into account.

Significance

Single parents enjoy the freedom to make decisions based on their own ethical, moral and cultural upbringing without interference or input from another that may conflict with their own ideas. While they are responsible for their child's academic and religious upbringing, they can make decisions based on their own needs, desires and want for their child without considering the desires, needs and wants of another person. These advantages of being a single parent are often counterbalanced by the burden of responsibility associated with raising a child alone.

Function

Single parents become extremely self-reliant and superior time managers because they can rely on no one else to accomplish what needs to be done, except for themselves. As a direct result of this need to succeed, single parents often provide their children with a model of excellence in self-reliance, independence and responsibility. Children of single parents learn to manage for themselves, rapidly taking over general tasks like housework (See Resources). "Psychology Today" cites a study by the American Journal of Community Psychology that reveals low-income single mothers are more likely to be open about life's harsh realities, income and what their kids can do to help Mom than a traditional two-parent home in which the parents will seek to protect their children from life's harsh realities. Children of single parents become defacto partners in the family success and are more likely to participate.

Types

While some may not see a child's self-reliance and ability to perform household tasks as an advantage to single parenting, the relationship between child and parent is another type of advantage. Single parents are not competing with the child's other parent for attention, respect or likability. They are not weighed and measured, then played off against the other parent. Single parents do not face the inevitable, "But Mommy (or Daddy) said ..." Children of single parents are also not confronted with competition from another adult. When Mom or Dad comes home, they get their parent's attention and the time spent between the two is valued. "Psychology Today" finds that it is typical for children of single parents to feel like their confidantes and that it encourages the children to confide in their parent, as well.

Warning

The most difficult part of being a single parent is the feeling of loneliness that may accompany facing life's challenges without the backup of another adult. The temptation to make the child a partner in her own upbringing is very strong. Some single parents may put their children in the position of acting like mini-adults without realizing it. According to "Psychology Today," single mothers will receive more support from their daughters than they would have from a husband, and that's OK (See Resources). Single-parent networks can provide social and moral support that can reduce the temptation to treat children like adults.

Source: eHow Editor

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Facts About Single Parenting

From the seventies single parents have increased. This is because of the problems in marital life and divorce. There are some couples who do not wed but have a child of their relationship. In such a case at the time of separation the child is left with a single parent. The death of any one of the parent could leave the child with a single parent.

There are certain facts about single parenting that needs be dealt with. It is not easy to single handedly bring up a child. It is a struggle, which would be both with emotions and money. It is necessary to be a role model for your child. This would be helpful so that your child follows your footsteps and does not idealize some body who may not be worth it. Thus, the parent needs to understand and educate the child about certain morals and responsibilities. This is a fact about single parenting.

Another fact about single parenting is that many single parents feel that they might not have bought up their child as a dual parent might have. There would be some kind of guilt in them. To remove this think positive. And you got to teach your child the values of life and face all the difficulties that life may offer.

A single parent has to undergo a lot of stress. This is a fact about single parenting. When both the parents are around the child would be taken care off by any one of them. But single parents need to pay more attention to their Childs growth. You can take the help of somebody to assist you with the task. You can keep the child in with a baby sitter when you go to work.

It is necessary to have a good communication with your child if you are a single parent. This again is a fact about single parenting. Tell your child the do's and don't. This should be done even if the child is angry with you. This would be a basic aspect of his upbringing. A good upbringing comes from teaching the right values at the right time.

It is difficult for a single parent to bring up a child. There are certain classes as well, to teach single parents how to bring up their child effectively. There are even books which can guide you to do the needful. A single parent needs to be strong mentally more than physically to fulfill the desires of the child.

Source: Robert Grazian (Ezine Articles)

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Single parents: How to avoid taking your anger out on your kids

Frustration can abound when you are single parent. There is no one else there to pass the children off to when they'd become difficult or annoying. And every parent knows that children become annoying at times. When you are at the end of your rope as a single parent it to be hard not to take your anger out on your children. However, to keep your household moving forward smoothly, you must learn how to avoid doing this. The following article to give you tips and tricks that will help the single parent keep their cool even when their child does not.

Single Parent Anger Management - Take a Break

Perhaps the best way to deal with anger management as a single parent involves taking a break when emotions are running high. Of course, you cannot pass the child off to another parent to deal with at the time, but you can still give both you and your child breathing room.

Before yelling or speaking out of anger, take a moment to count to ten, leave the room and do some deep breathing, or do some other calming activity. It is good to tell your child that you are too angry to deal with them at the moment and you will discuss the issue later.

Single Parent Anger Management - Give a Hug

When anger overwhelms you, it is hard to focus on the positive. When you feel angry beyone words, remember the mantra, "I still love you." No matter how furious you might be at whatever your child did wrong, give them a hug before talking about it. A hug will difuse the situation and remind them that they are loved no matter what. This may be difficult with older children or teens who resist hugs. Looking them in the eye and telling them you love them no matter what is effective as well.

Single Parent Anger Management - Get Help

While a single parent may not have immediate help to deal with a child who is misbehaving in some way, they can still get assistance with how to avoid taking their anger out on the child. Parenting classes, therapy, anger management counseling can all help. Sometimes, just calling a friend or relative can dampen the anger welling up inside.

Taking your anger out on your child is never acceptable, but it is very understandable. Single parents, who do not have the luxury of sharing the emotional load of difficult parenting times, must find other avenues to diffuse situations before they explode into outright fury.

Source: MelanieM (Bukisa)

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Effects Of Single Parenting On Education

It is mothers who have a positive impact and influence in the lives of their children. It does not make any difference whether they are single parents or not. A study on this aspect has found that in the case of a single parent it does not have any negative impact on the behavior or educational performance of the children especially those who are on the brink of being labeled adolescents.

The study says that what mattered most was the mother's education and her ability level and less importance was given to family income and quality of home environment. The study found consistent links between maternal attributes and a child's school performance and behavior.

It was earlier believed that children coming from single parent homes would not have spectacular performances in school and these children would have tremendous difficulty in completing their education successful. But all these theories have been negated by this recent study which shows that single parents exert a positive influence in the lives of their children especially when it comes to education.

The study goes on to show that the presence of favorable maternal characteristics like education and positive approach to child expectations have never been a risk factor when it comes to the child's performance in Mathematics, Reading or Vocabulary or even behavioral problems.

Past research has shown that children from single parent families tend to lead a less healthy lifestyle than children from normal families. The research also indicated that children growing up with single parents are more likely to drop out of school as the single parent would find it difficult to fund the child's expensive education. Child care is one of the major expenditures for a single parent. Providing housing, clothing, food and education has a major impact on a single parent's income.

But children who have been brought up with tender loving care and with the right parenting even if it is by a single parent has always had a positive influence on a child's behavior. This child of a single parent grows up responsibility and knows the value of education which the single parent is trying to provide with great difficulty. These children work hard and learn how to fund themselves with the help of scholarships and tuition fees etc.

Of course there are cases where the children of single parents have dropped out of schools but this far less in number. Most of the children of responsible single parents turn out into well developed adults in life.

Source: healthy status

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Tips for Positive Single Parenting

Raising a child is undoubtedly one of the most stressful jobs you can have; let alone raising one by yourself.

Single parents are faced with the difficult role of being both mom and dad. Some people find themselves in this situation because of: divorce, death of a spouse, a parent in the military or simply a single person who wants to have a child without a partner.

Positive effects of single parenting

While raising a child alone can prove to be challenging, it can also benefit the child in many ways, as well. Here are some tips for single parents

1. Teach your child independence and responsibility

Children who grow up in single parent homes are likely to take on more of the household tasks and are relied upon to take on extra responsibilities. This can help to encourage and foster maturity at an early age. Encourage independence with positive reinforcement and support.

2. Take advantage of extra bonding time

While having two parents is ideal, many times children are stuck in the middle when mom and dad do not get along. Children of single parent households avoid the stigmatism of arguing parents and tend to form stronger bonds with the existing parent. Take advantage of your extra time together.

3. Enjoy the benefits of a large support system

Many times children who are raised by only one parent are fortunate to have an extended support system. Family members and friends will often chip in to lend a helping hand with daycare, errands and mentoring. Rather than trying to take on the world by yourself, allow your family and friends to help out from time to time.

Source: jackiepanda (Hubpages)

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Single Parenting Survival Tips

Successful and positive single parenting tips for raising happy and healthy children, while keeping your sanity intact.

Single parenting is certainly an undertaking requiring finesse and strategy. And some days, survival is the best to hope for. Keeping up with the details of daily living is hard to do, when you're darting here and there, trying not to lose out on any part of your child's life. It becomes harder, still, when we miss out on once in a lifetime events, when we know there should be some way we could juggle everything a bit more efficiently.

There is no single formula for successful parenting, but there are ways to help ease the load of single parenting and make a few rough days more bearable.


1) Find time saving ways of accomplishing everyday tasks. Cook larger portions than needed, especially on weekends when you might have a little extra time, and freeze extra portions in individual meal packages. Then, during the busy and hectic weekdays, take packages out, and heat and serve your ready-made meals. Run errands all at one time, instead of coming and going from home to different places around town, expending your gasoline and your energies. Also, let the kids help at home. It's good for them, and better for all of you.
2) Have a life outside of parenting and your children. Join a club, have regular workouts at a local gym, take yourself out to eat or out for a day of fun with your friends. Allow yourself time at home to be alone, like enjoying a long soak in the tub, free from phones and other demands. This might mean enjoying the tub when the kids are at school, or, you might even hire a babysitter for a couple of hours. Whatever it takes, find unique ways to keep your kids occupied that also give you a chance to recharge your own batteries.
3) Pay attention to your child - each one individually, if you have multiple children. Even though parents need a separate life for themselves, children need lots of attention and tender loving care. Spend regular quality time with each child. Hear what they're really saying, and spend fun time together. Don't wait until your child gets in trouble before you pull yourself away from your busy life to hear what they have to say
4) Be honest with your child. Though children may not always need to hear the whole, ugly truth about life, and about your past (especially in the case of divorce or a troubled past that resulted in the birth of that child), kids deserve to be treated with honesty and respect. Answer their questions in a straightforward manner. Be honest! Kids have a way of finding things out. Better for you and for your child, not to mention better for your long-term relationship, that you be up front with your child from the very beginning. Of course, care should be taken on how much you say, depending on the age and maturity of your child.
5) Let your children become independent people. Don't shelter them to the point of overshadowing and smothering a child's independent nature. Give them responsibilities early, and then expect them to keep up with them. Let a child have a life outside of you and home, with friends and other families with whom they can relate. If you have no close adult friends who can befriend your child, check into the Big Brother/Sister program. Screen candidates very carefully!
6) Look for ways to network and connect with others for support. Join a single parents' group. Form a network with colleagues and friends. Form a car pool or a parents' day out, or try a cooperative for buying supplies in bulk to save each member of the Coop money for their individual family needs.
7) Don't be afraid to ask for help. You're just one parent, and you can't always carry the load alone. Know when it's time to lean on others to get things done, or for support to help get you through another trying day. You're no less a parent when you have to lean on others. Besides, you may be the perfect person to let another single parent lean on you, in return.
8) Don't take yourself too seriously! Learn to have fun and how to laugh. Find a balance in your life. Life is serious enough, without parents carrying all of life's burdens 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Let yourself go. Let chores around the house go for awhile. Give yourself a break now and then. After all, you don't HAVE to do it all, all of the time. Learn to laugh with your child and with your friends.


Lest this sounds like single parenting is just one giant nightmare with no end in sight, it is not. Parenting is one of the most rewarding activities a person could undertake. Yes, there are responsibilities, and the load grows quite heavy when carrying it alone. But a child doesn't need perfection. A child just needs a parent to be there, to love, guide, understand and protect. Love and Limits. When you put everything into perspective, the load seems lighter, and the joys of life and parenting begin to glow brighter than the responsibilities and tasks of everyday life.

Source: eSSORTMENT

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Positive Effects of Single Parenting
Concepts Every Single Parent Needs to Keep in Mind

You might not often think of being a single parent family as a bonus for your kids. There have been many sacrifices along the way, and plenty of times when you wished things were different. However, there are some positive effects of single parenting that you should bear in mind as you raise your children:

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #1: Developing Strong Bonds

Spending quality one-on-one time with your kids allows you to develop a unique bond that may actually be stronger than it would have been if you were not a single parent. Certainly this is true for many custodial parents, but it's also true for a number of non-custodial parents who have the opportunity to play a unique role in their kids' lives.

• Never diminish the importance of your role.
• Realize if your bond isn't where you want it to be today, you can work to strengthen it.
• Your connection with your children won't end when they turn 18; the bond will continue to evolve into your children's adult years.

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #2: Experiencing Community

We're all familiar with the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child." Well, children raised in single parent families are often raised by a village of supporters. In many cases, members of the extended family will step up and play a significant role in the children's lives. Those single parents who don't live near family may choose to participate in community groups - including single parent support groups, churches, and synagogues - which champion the entire family.

• Join a single parent support group
• Seek out civic groups that will help you plug in to your local community.
• Get involved in your child's school.

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #3: Shared Responsibilities

Children raised in single parent families don't just have "token" chores to do in order to earn an allowance. Instead, their contribution to the entire family system is necessary. The authentic need for their assistance helps the children recognize the value of their contribution and develop pride in their own work.

• Praise your kids for helping out around the home.
• Let them know you recognize their efforts.
• Expect them to contribute and be specific when asking them to help out.

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #4: Handling Conflict and Disappointment

Children in single parent families witness conflict mediation skills in action. They get to see their parents working hard - despite their differences - to collaborate and work together effectively. In addition, the children are forced to deal with their own disappointments early in life.

• Respond with your kids' disappointment with support, encouragement, and empathy.
• View these experiences as valuable growth opportunities, helping them become sensitive, empathetic, caring adults.
• You can't always prevent your children from feeling sad or disappointed, but you can help them to express and cope with their emotions

Positive Effect of Single Parenting #5: Seeing Real-Life, Balanced Priorities

Children who are raised in successful single parent families know that they are the main priority in their parents' lives, yet they are not treated as though they are the center of everyone's universe. This healthy approach helps to prepare kids for the "real world."

• Help your children balance their own needs/wants with the needs of the entire family unit.
• Realize that it's okay for you as the parent to pursue needs of your own, such as the need for alone time or adult conversation.
• Teach your kids to express their needs while also considering the needs of others.

Source : Jennifer Wolf (About.com)

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