Tips to Relax for Single Parents

Life as a single parent can be emotionally, mentally and physically draining. They have to handle work, household chores and children all the same time. They have to play the roles of both ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ single-handedly. Here are some tips to plan your schedule, take out some time to relax, manage everything and remain sane for single parents:

· Stop being bogged down with guilt and regret for things you are not able to do.
· Before going to bed at night, plan the next day.
· In the morning, first review your priorities and do things likewise.
· You may have to compromise with some things and learn to prioritize. Perhaps, doing laundry is more important than mopping and sweeping one day or visiting the school of children may override your visit to the bank on another day.
· Paperless desk fills you with positive thoughts, so avoid clutter and throw anything you can. Try to see a paper, work on it immediately and get it out of your way or just file it away, if it’s for future.
· Skills used for office management prove handy at home too. Clean workplace and three folders labeled ‘Urgent’, ‘ASAP’ and ‘To be Filed’ will make your life much more easier.
· Good filing system will ensure that you don’t have to spend hours looking for some paper later on in the long run. Labeled manila file folders should be kept in a file cabinet with drawers.
· A small tape recorder with headphones can allow you to schedule anything that comes to your mind while driving or cooking. You can do planning, make appointments and listen to songs and even novels too.
· Ask for help from other family members, neighbors and friends or whoever is willing to help and let the kids help too.
· Set alarms for everything and concentrate on only one thing for a set period of time. When the alarm rings, move on to another task and leave the task at hand for another day.
· Set about half an hour in the evening just for your child and let him or her know that at this time he or she can get your undivided attention. If necessary, turn off the mobile and keep the phone off the hook, so there are no distractions.
· Set about 20 minutes for just yourself too and do whatever makes you feel better such as relax, scream, exercise, cry or laugh. Teach the child not to interrupt you at that time and you may make somebody see young children for just that time. The timer may tell the child, when he can speak to you again.
· Things or fulfilling child’s every wish and whim cannot replace the missing parent ever. Over-compensation the children may just spoil them and they may turn selfish and may try to control you.
· Once a month, ask someone to baby-sit your child while you can try and do all the short errands and odd jobs on the appointed day.
· Things do get out of control sometimes and you can take time to just relax or think over things while you are waiting in traffic or queues.
· If you are too tired or stressed, do not feel ashamed of putting off things or procrastinating.
· Writing up notes, addresses and phone numbers on a small diary or small cards that can be put in file will keep you from losing them.
· On weekends, just relax and enjoy time with your child. Get all work done on weekdays itself.
· Share work and time with your kids and try to do it now such as cleaning kid’s room and get older kids help to cook and then go on a fun trip together.

Source: Parenting (iloveindia)

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Single Parenting - Four Role Models to Avoid

Nobody ever said single parenting is easy. As parents, we all learn with time. However, too often, the pressure of single parenting can be so overwhelming that it’s easy to make mistakes.

Are you one of these single parents? Learn how you can avoid being one:

The Emotional Patient
Most single parents try to be a good friend to their children, which is a good thing. However, a problem arises when single dads or moms see their children as a source of emotional support. Children of single parents need stability and security. A divorce or the death of a parent can be a particularly traumatic experience for them. No matter how mature or old your children are, avoid making them your confidante on issues such as how much money you have or what a lousy day you had. Don’t rob them of their time to be children. It is unfair to burden them with issues that are difficult for them to handle. If you need to speak to someone, speak to your friends or a counselor.

The Guilt Tripper
As a single parent, it is easy to feel guilty about many things. Not being around when your children need you, not being able to help them with their homework, and so on. The danger with feeling guilty all the time is that some single parents tend to develop a lower self esteem that they may pass on to the children. Don’t be hard on yourself. Learn to take the ups and downs in your stride. And, by all means, don’t try to bolster your self-image by fishing for compliments about what kind of parent you are.

The Permissive Parent
Children need as much love and attention as you can give them. However, some single parents make the mistake of being too permissive and never correct their children when it’s necessary. Research has shown that the children brought up in overly permissive parenting style may develop behavioral problems because they do not easily accept responsibility.

Be firm and know where to draw the line. Shower your children with affection but set clear rules and limits. This, of course, does not mean being harsh or too authoritarian. Perfect the art of saying “I love you but a NO means a NO.”

The Martyr
Single parenting can be such an overwhelming experience that many parents simply forget to take care of themselves. With all the effort and sacrifice required to handle regular tasks such as meals and activities, it’s no surprise that many single parents get burned out. Don’t be a martyr. Your children require your time and energy and the only way to sustain it is by allotting some time for yourself. Pamper yourself from time to time, be it writing in your journal, listening to music, or working out in the gym. Arrange for a babysitter or a trusted friend to look after your children when you are away. Look at it not just as time goofing off, but very important re-charging time so you can get back to the difficult job of being a great dad/mom.


Source : GreatDad Writers

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